BCDan

Change the channel!

2010-04-01T20:20:00.001-07:00

I love television, although not actually, I love television shows. I download them off the internet and watch them through my Xbox. Occasionally I will watch a show's premier, or episode's for a show that I really like; but I don't keep up with what's popular to most of my peers. However, almost all of my family love reality television shows! What's up with that?! Survivor and Big Brother suck, as well as almost every reality television show ever made! Fear Factor is crap, and so is the Amazing Race! Why do people like it? I can understand people liking shows like "Kenny Vs. Spenny" because they have a constant cast, good jokes and have relevant plots (sometimes). Survivor though? Really?

"Alright, show idea here!"

"What is it? Sitcom?"

"Better! Think about this.. We get about ten random people, then we promise them a million dollars.."

"Okay!"

"Then we shove them into some place where they can't leave or they lose.."

"Yeah!"

"Then we make them all play degrading games and the losers get kicked out!"

"That's great! We should also get some real asshole's on the show so they start fights and cause drama!"

"Ahh! Genius! We could also get some junk from the basement and call it the "immunity item" or something, everybody will be fighting for it! Haha!

"Everybody will watch it, they will give us awards!"

"Haha, what dumb-asses!"

They won't be showing that on any Survivor DVD commentaries, but I assure you that's how it was created. After a successful run of the show (once it ends) the creators will be leaning back in jewel encrusted chairs smoking in their pipes thinking about how many people they humiliated and how much they made profiting from it.

Everybody sucks

2010-03-05T16:29:00.000-08:00

I'm finally in a good enough mood to talk to you worthless shit-heads that decide to actually read my blog, when I hate you so god damn much. It's like the entire world is completely retarded, even in school, I'm back trying to finish; and I don't even need to try, its so easy. Actually, you know what, I think the students in my current school are the most retarded in Canada. I thought some people in my class were cool [film/television class] but the following conversation convinced me that they were special:

Dan: "You like star wars?"

Andrew: "Yeah, I watched it a while ago, they're pretty good."

Dan: "What ones did you see? Episodes four, five and six were the best ones. The new ones weren't as good, with the exception of three which had mediocre casting, and had good special effects."

Andrew: "I hated episodes four, five, and six! They were so old, and it was boring. The new episodes were awesome, episode three was the best star wars."

Dan: "What!? What about Han Solo, and Lando Calrissian? They were awesome, and it was a trilogy; Episodes one, two and three had all different actors. They were terrible."

Andrew: *shrugs* "They were boring, you just have bad taste in movies."

Turns out, he doesn't know Bruce Campbell and hates Tom Cruise. So I can't discuss movies with him and he never plays games. Countless other times people have disappointed me, and I'm glad its almost over. Oh, and when discussing music to someone [metal] I thought he was a real metal-head but again I was let down [again in film/television class]:

Dan: "What music you listen to?"

(I forget his name, he is unimportant): "Metal." (he says this with a smile)

Dan: "Awesome, same here! I listen to hard rock too, but mostly metal; and I don't listen to that shit new age metal, like slipknot and lamb of god. They suck hardcore."

(unimportant guy): "I like lamb of god actually, they are totally metal."

Dan: "Err.. No, but I guess that's okay. Do you like cannibal corpse?"

(unimportant guy): "Cannibal corpse sucks, they are shitty death metal. Lamb of god is good death metal."

As you can see my film/television class was not the most interesting. The teacher (aside from him never being at class and never taking attendance) put me in the grade eleven portion, instead of the grade twelve portion of the class. So I didn't get credited for anything.

I also neglected to post my last short story, but I'll post it now since I already wasted my time writing all this bullshit.

The Experiment:

Read here

Its only a first draft with some editing done, so I haven't rewritten it. It's not as great as I'd hoped, but it will improve my efforts in my next short story. I have never written a comedy, so I'm going to start of with something completely absurd:

The Adventure of Detective Wilson and his Talking Cat Sidekick

yet, more literature

2009-12-11T19:14:00.000-08:00

Read: Here

Info; the story is just a first draft, and is more professional than my last submission. Enjoy, and also expect a few new posts in the future that are not short stories.

Metallica; a history of douche bags

2009-11-25T21:23:00.000-08:00

Metallica, (aka. Sell outs, people who kicked Dave out) are the worst music group ever to attack my ear drums. As you all know, Dave Mustaine who was the only talented member of the band was kicked out, and not just kicked out but bussed out. His solo's were the only savior to their new style of music. The band later went on to be a huge success, however most people who bought the albums did so because they thought Dave would be there busting out Mechanix. When people heard that "The Mechanix" was replaced by shit stain "Four Horsemen" there was a world wide suicide increase by 34 percent. The rest of their history is unimportant and gay, so I'm not going to bore you with it. The only other good Album was "Fuck Metallica" and man did it ever fuck Metallica in the face. However, more recently, I have determined that not only are all the members (in the current lineup) fags, but they are also insane too. Last I heard they hated illegal downloading and now Lars is downloading Endgame? Did he hit his head, I mean it is a good album, but why not Rust in peace? Or maybe he already downloaded all of Dave's albums because he is such a huge fan, which makes total sense because I am a huge fan. Anyways, I think they came to peace with pirating because that's the only way anyone would ever listen to their music. When they want to kill themselves by terrible music, and would rather buy one last dime bag instead of one last shitty album.

A treat for the hungry

2009-11-23T22:43:00.000-08:00

Released: November 23, 2009

Download

Read Online

Now I know I haven't been posting much, but this should make up for it. A short story, that is not completely revised (ie. probably errors, and scenes not fully flushed out) but the story is finished enough for me to release on the site. Tell me what you guys think of it, as you can tell it is about zombies. Oh and if you wanted a happy ending, there is none, everyone dies like they should in all horror books; unless however that is your idea of a happy ending.

forty four hundred is win

2009-10-06T15:18:00.000-07:00

The forty four hundred is a great show, why the hell did they cancel it?! I mean, the writers guild strike, and financial problems are not good enough reasons to do that. It was a great show! This is equivalent to ABC dropping LOST right before the last season. This just fills me with rage!

You know what? They probably had financial problems because of the writers higher payrolls resulting from the writers guild strike! Those bastards! They are the reason for this, this is all because of the World Canadian Bureau!

Also, Loads of sites have forums, and I just wanted to clarify that BCDan will never have forums ever. Why? They're gay, why should I waste my time with it. I could be smoking pot instead, or sleeping. There would be no members anyways. So I just wanted to be clear that there is one forum that I actually enjoy using frequently and if you wanted to join it I'll provide you with the link.

Really awesome "pot smoking" forum.
HERE

Decline of Modern Horror

2009-08-21T16:58:00.000-07:00

When was the last time I saw a good horror flick? a long ass fucking time ago. Seriously I don't even remember what it was, maybe Event Horizon, or Dawn of the Dead (remake) although neither of those are scary. I miss the days where I had to cover my eyes cause arachnophobia was too intense, and watching that never even cured my fear of spiders! Although, nothing ever will. Camel spiders, enough said.

I just saw the Orphan, and I have to say, its about as bad as having my face sand blasted then soaked in lemon juice, repeatedly. I also saw "A Perfect Getaway" which was entertaining, but Thrillers can't even compare to the awesome capabilities of horrors. At least 28 Months later IS coming out eventually, but hopefully it doesn't suck as much as Sunshine did, which in case nobody watched it; it is Event Horizon except the ship didn't go to hell, it went to the sun. Fail.

Although, with movies starting to take the downward quality expressway, video games are fulfilling my needs greatly. People finally understand Survival horror is win, along with Post-Apocalypse games. They are so much more intense, and so much longer. FINALLY, the main plot wont unfold and be accomplished in 120 minutes or less. Alone in The Dark (besides 5), Silent Hill (early), Resident evil (early), Left 4 Dead, Dead Space, Cryostasis, and Obscure are all very good survival horror games. FEAR (1+2), RE4 and RE5, Silent Hill Homecoming, and Half Life 2 are good Action Adventures. (I don't really know about FEAR, its a weird shooter)

So what the fuck?

Why are horror movies so gay now, and on top of that if horror movies already blow chunks, why make a horror movie based off of a game? Stop now Uwe Boll, why'd you ruin Alone in the dark? Your terrible direction of that film, set the basis for a sequel which opened up peoples minds to continue the saga in Video Game format, thus spawning Alone in the dark 5. The game that could have been great, except it got fucked in the ass by Uwe Boll before they even knew what was coming. Thank the lord Farcry 2 didn't follow its movie counterpart. If you didn't know that a Farcry movie existed, continue believing that and disregard the last sentence.

The greatest adventure of all time!

2009-07-31T11:29:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I'm so great. I'm actually so great that my greatness had to be expanded to the land of 52 dialects. Obviously, Newfoundland. Leaving only about a month ago and still here today, I've come to the ultimate decision that I want to live here, but not yet. Living here will require some mental healing and copious amount of weed smoking. This can't be accomplished here. I haven't smoked weed in 3 weeks. It's a lot to take in at once, so just smoke a bowl and continue reading when your ready.

Alright, lets continue. Weed is impossible to get out here, and if you get it its shitty and expensive. Hardy an Ideal condition. On top of this, absolutely nobody listens to metal, with the exception of one person who liked Judas Priest, and was amazed when I liked metal also. It's a dead metal zone out here. Seriously I've heard the Black Eyed Peas song, I gotta feeling, like 600 fucking times on the radio. God damn it, I hate that song.

On top of that, there's no mountains to fill in my view. none. I get a boring stupid-ass cloud filled sky to look at. Their not the good kind of clouds either, their the worst kind of clouds. On the other hand in British Columbia it's 42 Degree's out. Woah! Not looking forward to that. I like the Foggy, normal 25 degree weather, with minimal rain. Ideal Weather. Fog is win.

So I've decided to come back to the weed capital for a few months until January or February, then move back out to good ol' beer drinking Newfie land, and become an alcoholic. Great plan indeed. So LOOK out! I'm coming back! Be fucking ready! Purchase loads and loads of weed and invite me over to discuss my greatness with me, I love compliments.

"Family Guy" is a terrible TV show, Don't watch it.

2009-07-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

If you do happen to watch it, then your just encouraging the producers and writers to continue their work.. and your an idiot for not understanding actual "good" comedy. Probably some of you are screaming out loud smashing your computer and denouncing my statement towards this children show, what would I presume your defensive argument should be? Family Guy is hysterical when your baked. NOPE. My returning argument would have to be; Everything is funny while your baked. With the exception of killing baby rabbits.. wait, no.. everything is funny while baked.

So why watch Family Guy? I honestly don't know. Its childish, retarded, they use the same-old jokes all the time directed towards the same audience, all the fraking time. What season are they in now? Eight? Jesus people, I knew the human race (or at least the Internet) was dumb, but this is overwhelming. THAT SHOW SHOULD HAVE STAYED CANCELED. Damn you rocketing DVD sales!

I mean come on.. The only good developed character is Brian, he's got a logical understanding of what goes on around him, and his back story makes sense. Unlike his best friend, who apparently has some dad in Ireland, which was different from his other "Dad" (Foster Dad, I really don't know) for most of the series, leaving the viewers to eventually find out that both were not his father, and a third Dad was introduced. (I think?) anyways, it does not matter, they all somehow met and ended up in America. Peter obviously does not know what goes on around him, same with Chris, and Meg. Who don't have much character development.

I could go on to explain Peters friends, Lois, The absurd baby of theirs, but it would explain nothing but how much they all suck. I will admit 3 or 4 jokes made me laugh (while not high) but that is hardly worth watching the program to see if one pops up, the pot episode even sucked. (how?)

All in all, its a terrible show, that is boring to watch, Hopefully I opened your eyes. (I already know I didn't; because anyone who likes the show probably disagreed with everything I said, or completely agreed with me. The later being the smarter choice.) Watch shows like South Park, Monty Python (very good show to watch baked by the way) Futurama, Simpsons, or even Seth's other show, American Dad, which is a great improvement to Family Guy.

Also, Before you finish reading, let me tell you one last thing to help you see the way and to prevent you from ever tuning in to Family Guy. King of the Hill (Great show) was cancelled after something like 11 or 12 seasons to make room for a Family Guy spin-off. FRAK YOU FAMILY GUY! How will Hank Hill sell me propane now?

The Internet is fail

2009-05-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well my years on the world wide web have been interesting no doubt, I've seen some radical sites and interesting games and creations. Also though, some awesome public sites and forums have caught my attention. One of these forums/sites that I visit every now and then, (I used it Back in the Day) is Totse. While I am thunderously disappointed by the fact that as of January 17th 2009, the site in no more. This information disgusts me, as tons of other good sites are also shut down, unmaintained, never up-dated, or just plain suck (now).

Why? Internet are you starting to fail. I've always had faith in you, spiting on people who said the Internet was lame, or uselessly boring. I guess those days came to an end, as soon as I started to notice how awesome the Internet actually was.

Most new sites that popped up take the traffic away from the older sites that used to be. (my opinion, but obviously the right one) Sites like "Facebook" (Which I recently De-activated my account, due to my sudden realization that it's utter dog shit. Although, I always really kinda knew it, but went along with it anyways.) "YouTube" Yes I know, YouTube is a cool site that wastes your hours away watching killer music videos and unreleased sitcom TV shows that never saw the light of day, that is, until YouTube started existing. But is it really actually a cool site? No. It isn't. FACT: 90% of the videos on YouTube are lies, shit quality, incorrectly labeled, or some shit bag trying to show his creativity by making movies. (News flash man, THEY FUCKING SUCK) Have you ever seen somebody try to cover an intense song themselves (and suck at it), or seen some crappy-filth-ridden-suck-fest of a home video? Yes you have, because they compile most of YouTube.

There's actually so many shitty sites on the Internet, I would spend years typing them out, and You'd never actually see this post. Seriously though, there is an incredible amount of terrible sites on the web, test it out. Type www.whatever the fuck you want.com (no spaces) and voila! You have found a site. Alas, its not really a site, but an eye sore. So this is not recommended.

A World Conquest Part II

2009-05-06T22:55:00.000-07:00

During the events of my Internet conquest, I had also unintentionally started a conquest in the real world as well. The Nations of earth gathered and agreed that my conquest of the Internet must be halted, BCDan cannot be the sole site on the Internet, for then how would people pirate video games or watch porn. It was madness. The United Nations ejected Canada from its council, just as the BCDan party of Canada took power. The world is falling apart, easy prey for a mastermind such as myself. The year is 2009, and Earth is about to conquered.

Everybody underestimated Canada, they had a powerful army, just not very big. Of course size doesn't matter, when you release biochemical bombs on your opponents strategic military outposts and bases of operations. Yes the world was looking to easy to take, almost without any resistance at all. Of course Prime Minister Dan, or Dictator for Life, as Dan preferred, was not a lone wolf. He had his allies, and he chose them wisely. North Korea and Dan mutually agreed that Japan, China, and the United States were the most superior threats to our future regime. They must be stopped at all costs. Russia, although, was not interested in our endeavour, at first, but they eventually agreed to our terms, and China was the last member to join the regime in 2010, even though at first our intentions were to blow the shit out of them.

On June 6th, 2012, North Korea nuked Japan. The resulting war would be the last earth would see for a long time. China invaded Mongolia, India, and Taiwan. Russia, attacked the European Union. All in the month of June, by July 4th, Canada invaded the United States. With the help of North Korea, Russia, and China. Most of America's major metropolis's were subjected to nuclear annihilation with minimal damage to Canada's cities and environment.

The United States was captured for the most part, swiftly and easily. When America was annexed by Canada completely, in 2013, Japan had been destroyed by weapons of Mass Destruction. The rest of the world had become fearful of the new super regime, and formed the "Alliance of Earth". Appalled by the Lack of excitement in their name; China, Russia, North Korea, Canada, and Newly acquired United States agreed to be called "Destroyers of the Alliance of Earth" (DotAoE). By 2014 Mongolia, South Korea, Taiwan, Mexico had been captured by the DotAoE and India as well as the European Union were showing signs of defeat. By this time most of the worlds cities had already become prey to nuclear bombs, back in 2013. The world had changed dramatically, and only more great things were to come. Dan the emperor of Earth, I can feel the power already.

Its all about the weed

2009-05-04T17:06:00.000-07:00

We all know that weed is without a doubt, the best plant ever. No one can say otherwise, but wait, Isn't weed illegal? Why yes! Yes it is, and its totally fucking gay. Whats wrong with weed being illegal? Everything. Its my right as a Canadian to be able to smoke a blunt walking down the street while taunting cops with huge tokes and laughing at them because I'm stoned and their not. Its my right as a citizen of Earth! to be able to smoke weed without problems with the authorities.

Its quite obvious why weed is illegal though, the answer is so simple. The government is unpatriotic! They don't care about us, or the country! They just care about how much they can raise taxes before people get pissed, its what they do, raise taxes and build highways.

Which is why I've decided to form my own political party, the greatest party that the universe will ever become witness too.

Let me explain what my party represents. The BCdan Party of Canada, believes that weed should be legal and freely distributed at any of these locations: 7-11, Wall-mart, Costco, McDonald's, any coffee bistro, and other locations. We also believe, the dealing of weed should not be prohibited and is actually encouraged.

The BCdan party of Canada, has also done very in depth research studies about what weed will do to the common individual.

As you can clearly see, the person on the right has a cool hat, wavy purple-streaked hair, got a new bong, is wearing sun glasses and is smiling. These are all successful traits of a person who is going to get everything he wants in life. The person on the left however, is plain and dull, depressed, doesn't have a bong, and has swine flu.

So In conclusion, Our researched proved that if you don't smoke weed, you have swine flu.

Get me the fuck off this ship!

2009-03-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

Hello readers, I'm back and with a complication of different space ships, or capital ships, that would fucking suck MAJOR balls to be stuck on, and no weed to smoke. My list will feature ships known in movies, and games. I don't read books, fuck books.

I'm rating the ships from least shitty/scary to absolutely mind shockingly fucked up. Also, I'm rating them from the protagonists shoes. Lets start:

Athena

Well doesn't that look like a pretty ship, orbiting over Solaris? Yes it does, but don't let this fool you. Solaris is a fucking evil star that fucks shit up, and brings dead people back from our memories and makes them completely fucking real. Also, they can't be killed unless you vaporize them with a super powerful energy wasting laser.

The Athena comes complete with little kids running around, that should be back on earth, No contact with Earth, and blood appearing in various places not seen before. Hardly a peaceful relaxing work experience over Solaris, fuck that star.

Event Horizon

Fuck this ship, fuck its crew, fuck its black hole device that takes it to hell. Fuck this ship! If I designed this ship; and it disappeared for god knows how long, then reappears in our solar system, and weird messages are being transmitted from its radio, I WOULD FUCKING STAY AWAY! I'd erase any memories of this ship from my mind. (by trying not to think about it)

Alas, my efforts to ignore this mess of a ship, I get a call to go to some top secret location in our solar system to do a rescue extraction. I'd probably be like "go into space to be a space faring hero? fuck yeah man!" All goes well, until we reach the destination, its a storm and nothing is visible, that is until, the Event Horizon is 100 feet in front of us. I'd be in shock (if I'd watched the movie beforehand) but, the movie doesn't actually exist in the movie, so I'd be clueless to the terrors that await me on the ship.

Me and my team get on the Event Horizon, what awaits us? Hell. Its the complete truth. This advanced black hole generating ship is filled with dark corridors, blood and guts, corpses, more blood, hallucinations of dead people that try to kill you mostly 100% of the time, and a mysterious force that fucks up your buddies and makes them kill themselves. Ohh, Also the ship is alive and presents you your fears trying to make you commit suicide, and kills you if you try to leave.

The ship has been to Hell and back! The crew mutilated themselves and ate each others organs! Ahhhhhhh! What the fuck!?

Planet cracker starship

Now what would you think a "planet cracker starship" would look like or actually do? Blow up planets? Mine them? Well they kind of do both, they pull a big chunk out of planets and mine them for their resources.

The picture above is a planet cracker starship, called the USG Ishimura. Yes, the Ishimura. I will never ever go on to any space ships dubbed Ishimura if they do exist in my lifetime. Fuck the Ishimura, fuck the Necromorphs, fuck Concordance Extraction Corporation. God dammit, why did they find that artifact?

I can't really explain how fucked up the Ishimura is, really. Other than death awaits you around every blood filled, corpse ridden hallway. Also, corpse's can be turned into the Necromorphs. An alien spices with only one objective, kill humans and turn their bodies into Necromorphs, also eat them sometimes. Necromorphs are corpses and tissue fused together, and each limb is conscious. That means they don't need a head, and if you shoot them in half, you then have two to deal with. ALSO, they have huge fucking blades that can cut you in half. Those are only the most common varieties, there's also mutant babies that are just fucked up and can walk on the walls and roofs, Huge armored tank creatures that can walk though a metal reinforced wall like it was paper, huge fucking leviathans (HUGE) like so huge they consume an entire room and only keep growing until they consume a part of the ship entirely. There's also a monster, that regenerates any lost limbs instantly, run the fuck away. All this awaits you on the Ishimura. The worst thing is, the ship has not been destroyed, and its destination is clear, Earth.

"Shrooms" is a shitty movie

2009-03-03T05:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, when I say shitty, I of course means brilliantly filmed to make you want to shoot your friends brains out, record it, post it on youtube, then watch it because its way more fucking interesting.

I just recently watched this crap fest of a film, expecting it to be good because of people telling me this movie was good, and I believed it because of the media boasting the director. (The movie Freakdog, supposedly was directed by the same guy as Shrooms) I have not seen the movie Freakdog, and hopefully never will fearing that it might push me to do another review.

So, how do I start? How about by saying that this movie should not be watched by anyone, and absolutely does not resemble anything of what a shroom trip would actually be like.

Now let me explain, about 10 seconds into the film I got the feeling it was going to suck just by how the story was beginning to unfold, you can probably guess how agonizing the other 90 minutes were. It starts off with some bitch on a plane, waiting to get to Ireland to do shrooms because shes never done them, and the best thing to do on your first shroom trip is too obviously do them on another continent, everybody knows this. (Their from America) So they land, her and her friends (Some Pot head with long hair, Steroid Junkie, and a Hot Bitch) They go to meet their failure of a friend who is waiting for them.

By this point, I have seen most of the main cast, and they're all terrible. Casting was shitty, bar none.

Eventually they are driving in this shitty vehicle that looks like.. well.. a fucking piece of shit, and they hit a dog, or some shit. Then they feel sorry for the dog, and the steroid junkie freaks out and kills it. THEN they gave the dead dog to these people across the street who witnessed the scene, hoping they would fuck off. They did. (They also screamed a lot of non-sense)

So after some more driving, they find a place and set up camp. The one bitch complains about some guy not paying attention, and then they go looking for shrooms. The one guy (Guy who waited at airport) explains about the blackhead shrooms and how they are extremely deadly, and would give you psychic powers if you didn't die. Around 1 minute later, the girl bitch falls down right in front of one and stares at it for like 30 seconds eventually eating it. Almost Instantly after the single shroom enters her mouth, she has a seizure and gets psychic powers (Supposedly)

They go back to camp after picking all their shrooms, and wait till the morning to do them. Its night time currently, and I know that hallucinogens are best at night, but they wait till the morning. They all sit around a fire planning to tell scary stories, shitty deal for everybody though because the airport dude tells one to scary, and everybody goes to sleep.

The pot head steals a shroom and shares it with his girlfriend planning to bone her, but the steroid junkie was spying on them and this causes a dispute between everybody. Eventually the pot head gets punched in the face. The steroid junkie's hot bitch girlfriend knows he was spying, and complains about him taking steroids. He leaves, and takes shrooms. Eventually he talks to a cow.

Pretty much the rest of the movie is everybody dying, one by one in stupid ways, by this black figure mentioned in the story the airport dude told at the camp fire. I can't even write about how stupid they are in the decisions they make. I don't even know how they came up with them.

Anyways, turns out the girl is actually murdering everybody and she didn't have powers. This becomes clear to you about halfway through the movie, but you only "ACTUALLY" find out at the very end.

Let me Rate this shit:
Cast 0/100
Plot 0/100
Acting 0/100

Script 5/100

Editing 60/100

The movie gets 5/100 for including the cow.
The movies gets 60/100 for trying to present a shitty movie as worthwhile.

Total: 65/500

That's 1.3/10 if you wanted to know. Hardly a movie worth seeing.
Now if I were to re-make this movie, here would be some of the changes.

Dave Mustaine for lead role.
Scrap everything about the movie, and replace it with a recording of one of his concerts.
Sell movie with shrooms.

The company that produced this movie, should seriously consider taking my advice.

God Damn, fucking no-good PIRATES!

2009-03-02T01:44:00.000-08:00

Ahhh! I hate them more than ever, they always ruin everything!

Sigh... Let me explain; I was playing Sins of a solar empire for computer, and everything was going well, I had colonized an entire solar system, had millions of dollars, I was unstoppable to any enemy fleet, or so I thought.. I mean I conquered an ENTIRE fucking solar system, that's 12 PLANETS!

Here take a look at my fleet.

Its 15 Capital ships, along with about 50 Heavy Freighters, 30 Carriers, around 60 Light/Medium Cruisers, and about 65 fleets of Fighters, and Bombers.

Yeah, pretty nice, I know. It wiped out all the enemy fleets and empires with ease, that is of course until..

PIRATES! (They are GREEN and I am RED) Its hard to see, but if you enlarge the picture, you can kind of see the glow.

They outnumbered my ships 4 to 1. Of course, I had Capital ships and they didn't, but their fleet consisted almost ENTIRELY of Heavy Freighters, Heavy Cruisers, and Missile Cruisers.

The following is the battle between Dan & those fucking Pirates!

BUT even after all this mayhem, I STILL beat the fuckers! I still won! But at what cost? about 100,000 Dollars worth of Ships, and Millions of people, but I still won.

The Picture above, is a screen shot of my ships leaving the scene, You can't really see them because there's so much debris, and destroyed ships. (Look for the ships engines and you'll find them) NO MORE PIRATES, I killed all of them, let none live. The solar system is now rid of them.

But I have to admit, what a terrible fucking ambush...

Newgrounds is fucking lame!

2009-02-11T00:30:00.000-08:00

Hello readers! While I was browsing the inter-webs I encountered something quite funny (Well Sort of), so I thought I'd share it.

You probably remember that old flash site Newgrounds, Or as I like to call it.. A shitty fucking site. Well yeah, it still exists and apparently still doing great, if you could say it ever was actually great. Anyways, I was browsing, thought I'd see what hit the portal, to my surprise, something had hit the portal. This:

Well, it was about the funniest thing I'd seen all day. It really made me appreciate the people who hate Newgrounds. Well, after having my laugh, I continued to glance at the right upper portion of the LCD Screen.

What the hell has Newgrounds become? GAYCORE, Hannah Montana Porn, Lolicon, Pokemon Hentai "Supreme", Kim Possible Hentai Quiz? Ahhhh! Its a spam haven! I mean Pop-up attack 1.0? Seriously! Its all getting accepted too! I mean whoever voted for Jigsaw Puzzle 58, probably hasn't been worn out from the 57 previous versions.

Newgrounds you disappoint me so much, that I will give the first BCDan Site Rating.
Newgrounds receives: 10/10

Just so you all don't get confused, I'll post the Rating chart below:

0/10 - Reserved for BCDan only.
1/10 - Awesome site, added to favorites.
2/10 - Great site, added to favorites.
3/10 - Good site, might return.
4/20 - Weed Related Sites
5/10 - Average site.
6/10 - Boring site.
7/10 - Terrible site.
8/10 - Awful Site, hate people who made this site exist.
9/10 - Horrible Pain is received for visiting this site.
10/10 - Newgrounds

The result of underfunded fire departments

2009-02-02T21:45:00.000-08:00

Well, being an avid Sim City 4 fan, I have quite the metropolis standing right now, at a combined population in the region reached 2.1 Million just about an hour ago. However, not anymore. A terrible tragedy has occurred, one that I, by no means had anything to do with.

So I'm minding my own business, being mayor of my cities, ignoring my advisers as usual, then when I started to remove some abandoned apartments to make way for some new and improved commercial complexes, my power adviser interrupted me saying that "This Old Nuclear Power plant needs to be decommissioned because its very old, and unreliable." So I try to finish completing my task of replacing the shitty old buildings before I embark on my mission to the Nuclear station. I get interrupted again, by my Fire adviser saying that the Fire Department is underfunded and can't protect the city from fires. About all of 5 seconds after he said that, one of the abandoned buildings on my screen caught on fire and was spreading to the other healthier buildings beside it. So I dispatch my fire department to clean up the scene, my biggest mistake.

Almost Immediately when they arrived to the fire, I got another message from the Fire department saying that another building has caught on fire, determined to stop both fires I waited for the firemen to save the burning apartments from their ultimate destruction.

As soon as they finished, I quickly rushed to the next hot spot, to my displease it was my nuclear power station, So I dispatched the fire engines to the new location, and then noticed that the recent apartments that were on fire, were on the other side of town.. as the firemen rushed to the scene they finally got there and put out the fire, a job well done. Well not exactly..

With all the commotion about the fires, I completely forgot to actually decommission the plant, and it blew up about 2 minutes after the fire. Now my Region has 1.9 Million people, because after the nuclear explosion almost EVERY fucking building went abandoned in the one city, and every single fucking person moved out, now the more southern city that had lots of residential zoning is having a population boom, and the city is not nearly prepared for it, I didn't place enough hospitals, police stations, or fire departments for that matter to handle it. The city originally had 140,000 People, and as soon as I loaded the city it raised to 230,000. Now the city has a major crime problem, and all the schools are on strike because there are too many students. The city also didn't have much commercial zoning, so they had to leave the town to go to work which overcrowded my highways to the extreme, and flooded another city with huge businesses. So really, this all fucking happened because I didn't pay my firefighters that much money.

A few things to say

2009-01-31T00:26:00.000-08:00

Here you go fucktards!

A World Conquest Part I

2009-01-29T16:21:00.000-08:00

So BCdan, the new empire on the Internet, where did I start? Where the fuck do you think? Blogger fool! It was an easy task, no one expected it, I was unstoppable. My Next target Facebook, they didn't stand a fucking chance. My empire was growing, soon I was planning the demise of that shitty little site Habbo, they were weak.

My Empire started to look pretty challenging, after Habbo was defeated, Meetic & Blurty soon joined my Regime. My next target? The weakly defended shores of EZBoard, from there I could spread my Propaganda far across the Earth. Now I begin my plans for crushing Myspace..

After Myspace was defeated, the surrounding sites Skyblog, and Hi5 gave in, also Myspace Bands and The Bands Fan sites tried to fight off the BCdan Invasion but to no prevail.

My Next Plan of attack was to Invade GAIA, for too long they have existed, and I planed to make sure the change was permanent. Before I would embark on my journey though, I would have to dissolve the sites Live Journal, CYWorld, and Orkut, because they have been a persisting thorn in my side, and their existence annoyed me.

My Empire was starting to come together and sites such as; Newgrounds and assorted PC Gaming Sites were realizing my true power and proposed to form the UKA, The Ultimate Kickass Alliance. The world would tremble at our superior power and the world leaders, Microsoft Empire, Wikipedia, Youtube, and Google were getting worried.

Of course I didn't have the man power yet , to match the combined states of Porn sites and Warez sites, but their ways of ruling the Internet will soon come to an end.

Many things that are fucking stupid

2009-01-04T02:15:00.000-08:00

There is a fuck ton of things that are fucking stupid and piss me off, as I've Mentioned before Running, People who are against weed, People who are slow, Steve Nick... the list goes on infinity. However there are some more recent things that have made me angry enough to write about how fucking gay they are. For example, that plastic anti-theft packaging that denies the sharpest of knives and wont open. The one's where a knife just wont cut it, you need a fucking sword. Yeah, that packaging, Usually contains wires or some shit too, I mean what the fuck? Its more like anti-opening packaging, its fucking impossible.

This next one is fucking the worst and everybody does it, its fucking retarded.
People asking fucking retarded questions!
Like when your standing outside and some amazing car crash happens, and your friend next to you asks "Did you just fucking see that?" I usually just fucking ignore those questions.
Another good example is when people ask if they can "ask you a question"... I mean Seriously, What the Hell? Fuck off, you just did.

Another thing that is just stupid, is when great TV shows or Games get canceled because of a new show/game that will make more money. I know this is Unavoidable but seriously. . . Why Cancel King of the Hill for . . .ugh. . The Cleveland show? I'll never understand peoples sense of humor. I Guess everyone is just fucking retarded. I'm the last sentient soul on this earth. . .sigh.

Ooh, and One more thing. I FUCKING HATE CHAIN LETTERS! No matter who the fuck you are, if your my friend or some random bitch on the Internet, I will hate you slightly more every time you send me one, which by the way I never read or open, just delete, as soon as possible. All your doing is severing a chance of friendship with the only real person who matters.

This post is meaningless

2009-01-03T21:35:00.000-08:00

This post is completely fucking meaningless, so why are you reading it? Didn't you read the fucking title, it says this post is meaningless you fuck-face, so stop reading. I'm not gonna talk about anything, or about how fucking awesome 2008 was, or to be more precise how fucking gay it was. . . I'm not gonna talk about anything! So go die in a fire!

On another note, My xbox360 crapped out. No more Mirrors Edge for me. . . I Blame you Steve Nick, you piece of shit, your a fucking jerk, you know that? Why would you fucking break my xbox360? You know what Steve Nick, I'm going to remember you and hate you for the rest of your fucking short and miserable life.

So 2009. . . What the shit? Whats so Important about 2009? Nothing, Nothing at all. So to make it better, I Declare 2009 "Year of the Dan" Sounds good, I like the "Dan" and "Year of" Words in it. Makes it sound impressive. Actually fuck all that, Year of the Dan, what the fuck is that shit? Every Year is year of the Dan! So then What the fuck, 2009? Your stupid.

Megadeth and Anthrax -- for the Win!

Steve Nick & People like him

2008-12-19T05:35:00.000-08:00

Before I start ranting about how much this guy is a stupid prick, and should die, I'll explain how this faggot ended up being mentioned in my post. Steve Nick is apparently a jerk, who doesn't like Half-Life 2. [Which by the way, is my favorite franchise] His own words: "Utterly boring." Now this is impossible because it most certainly is not boring in the slightest, but after researching his review on the game, I found out that he only played the first 30 Minutes of Half-Life, and Didn't even Start Episodes 1, and 2. Although, he reviewed them anyways, and gave all of the games a terrible score of 2/10.

Now, Steve Nick, your a retarded piece of shit who doesn't understand how reviewing games works. If your going to review a game, make sure you have beaten the game 100%. Not some half-assed 30 minutes on Easy, you dumb fuck. Also, you posted your review in 2008. Do not compare older games to new games. Its like me comparing Killzone 2, to Counter-Strike 1.6
Hmmmm... Which one is going to have better Graphics?

He also Says, Team Fortress 2, "has straight out appalling graphics" and is boring, with sucky multiplayer. That right there, says to me, that you probably don't play much online games, and If you do, you suck severely at them. Team Fortress 2 has Intense multiplayer, and Is fast paced, You just fucking suck. If There is one thing that pisses me off, its you Steve Nick, and your friends, and people like you. People who fucking suck at reviewing, and the worst of all, didn't even play the fucking game.

Here's the link to his lame-ass review. [The Orange Box Fail Review]
Steve Nick you piece of shit, go die alone, without games. You don't deserve them.

Warez and Free Shit!

2008-12-17T06:11:00.000-08:00

You know what I Like? Pirated Movies, Games, and anything that I could have paid for, gotten for nothing at all. That's awesome. Like If I Need some Music Making Program, The new Flash App, or the Newest Extreme Game, I'm not fucking paying for it. Music, Movies, Television Shows, and of course other things, like Books, and console games. No matter how new it is, it usually gets on the Internet 5 minutes after its release. Its so great, One game downloaded is 59.99 saved for Pot, also for the sheer amount of Movies and Music I've downloaded, I've saved like 5,000 dollars worth. Holy shit.

Nothing in this world is perfect though, and no I'm not talking about the crappy downloading times, that I can deal with. Its waiting for those things I want to download, and then realizing that some fucking idiot entered the wrong fucking password for me to open the file, and now its useless. There's probably ways to hack it, or bypass it, but it would just take as long as fucking downloading another one. But still, what fucking retards, how could they make this mistake, it pisses me off so fucking much. Also, I fucking hate it when they Mislead you into downloading something [mostly music] and its fucking not the right thing. Its usually not because they want to, but because there a dumb fucking shit head who doesn't know their own music, and should die because life hates them. Screw off you fuckheads, this world is already populated with so many idiots, your just adding to it, so go kill yourself. Also, corrupt files, they piss me off to, and If there's anyone I can blame for that, its Microsoft. Fuck you Microsoft, you piece of shit, why haven't you solved this problem yet? Wait, I know why, cause' everybody who works at Microsoft is a fucking moron.

Actually something that pisses me off more than all that combined together, is people who report warez and illegal software to the distributors [like Rapidshare, and other uploading sites] Why do people do this? I don't fucking understand. They don't get rewards for it, they don't get the product their reporting for free, they get nothing, nothing at all. Their doing it because they think its "The right thing to do". I've got some fucking news for you faggots, its not. Capitalism is not the right thing, you retards. Your helping rich jerks get more and more money, and their laughing at you for helping them. Their laughing at you drinking their 10,000 dollar wine, while eating steak for Breakfast, fanning themselves with money. Your Contributing To That! Fuck face! Stop it before I start to murder everybody who uses the Internet. As soon as you realize that sharing is not wrong, and everything should be free, a lot sooner you'll realize that your a dumb ass and have to kill yourself, which in return, will make me very happy. That's one less Internet stupid-ass retard I ever have to deal with. So do everybody a favor, and listen to me, cause I'm always right, I know whats best for you, and right now, its death.

2008 Faggot alert

2008-12-13T23:28:00.000-08:00

Watch out readers, upon this planet Earth, there is somebody who thinks that my opinion doesn't matter. In case you haven't been informed, my opinion does fucking matter, and In case you don't agree, my opinion does fucking matter. Get it through your dumb fucking skull, and understand that.

Well anyways this persons Internet alias is "kick79" Which I assume means "fucktard"
This is What he said: "Nobody cares what you think and especially not with such vulgarities..."
He also gave my blog a thumbs down on StumbleUpon. Which [even though I don't use an account (Other than to view his profile)] Offends me greatly to an extent that I want to kill him, and not just murder him, kill him with my Intense Vulgarities. What a Bitch.

He also [according to his profile] is Catholic, Cares Moderately about Politics, and is an avid Jimi Hendrix fan. [Well, there's nothing wrong with Jimi Hendrix, 90% of all people think he's the best guitarist, which is greatly explained in my last post, that he certainly is not] He's also a member of the "New Jersey" group, and is in High School. He is also Aquarius.

You might be thinking that this information is wrong, but since he's a Catholic, in school, and doesn't care much for mean words. I think he's telling the truth. So In case you want this person to have a Vulgarity-free life, Message him with every Insult you have. You can be sure that in the next few hours he'll have some wonderful messages from me.

The Post is True, and occurred 3 weeks ago. Read at your own Risk. (Here) Warning: He's a fucktard, don't believe him, or your also a fucktard.

I'm fucking tired of explaining it...

2008-12-11T19:46:00.000-08:00

So many people have the wrong idea, and I just always have to argue my point across, but they NEVER fucking get it through their fucking biased opinions. I am right, I always am, and always will be.

Top 5 [Most Awesome & Kickass] Guitarists [of all time]

Edit: To avoid confusing my fellow reader Insomniac [The amazing guitarist BUCKETHEAD] I will admit to, that he is indeed more talented and faster than my preferred guitarist STEVE VAI. The List Below though is for [Most Awesome & Kickass guitarists] which STEVE VAI Wins there, even though BUCKETHEAD kicks some major ass.

#1. STEVE VAI- Steve Vai is the God of Guitar, Fuck you Jimi Hendrix your good, but not Steve Vai Good, which by the way, is the best. He also puts on amazing concerts where he looks like he's one with his guitar, and he thinks up the most badass riffs

#2. BUCKETHEAD- Now when people make there own lists of Top 5 Guitarists [Which are completely wrong] Their is a 90% chance that Buckethead is not on that list. Why? I ask Myself. How can somebody possibly think that Kirk Hammett is better than Buckethead? Their completely retarded, that's how.

#3. JOHN PETRUCCI- You probably haven't heard of heard of him either, he's the lead guiarist of the amazing Progressive metal band, Dreamtheater. He is fucking fast, original, and kickass at his solos, sometimes he does [about] 10 long solos in a short 10 minute Dreamtheater song.

#4. DAVE MUSTAINE- You'd better fucking know who he is, if you don't, go kill yourself. now. Dave Mustaine is the Lead singer of MEGADETH! I've heard from my sources that he also busts out all the lead solo's at his concert's. fucking amazing.

#5. MICHAEL ANGELO BATIO- Another you probably wouldn't think of, he's very good, and does godly shows, and also covers "Crazy Train". Anybody who covers Crazy Train and masks it with super awesome solo's is great in my opinion, which by the way, matters to everybody.

So There you have it, Top 5 Guitarists, now you won't ever have to argue again. Some good Guitarists, that did not make this list and never will so don't even think about it.

-Jimi Hendrix
-Joe Satriani
-Angus Young
-Alexi Laiho

There are so many more, but I don't want to list them. There good but not worthy of being Top 5, so know you know.

Fuck off, you don't get my money

2008-11-17T13:47:00.000-08:00

You might be thinking I'm writing about bums, and homeless jerks; but I'm not [even though they fucking won't get my money either] I'm writing about "Donations" Not to churches, or to children foundations, the People who want you to Donate to their online web page. They can seriously go suck a chode. I'm not paying my well-earned, or stolen money to you so you can "improve" your website. What are you going to do? Smoke Weed? that's what I thought. Even if your actually going to use the money towards your site, I'd rather smoke weed than give money to you. Actually I'd spend my money on a lot of things before I'd ever donate money to a site, examples: hash, oil, more weed, papers, bongs, pipes, and various other weed related products. So fuck off, you won't be ever getting my money, so stop asking with your lame-ass donation buttons that link directly to paypal. I DON'T EVEN FUCKING HAVE PAYPAL! What the fuck is wrong with you?

There are other people that try to take your money too, like telemarketers. These People are even worse than those faggots who ask for donations. They actually call you, obviously you know this, but you must be as angry as I am; Cause I don't want some person calling me when I'm smoking a blunt, to tell me I absolutely need to get a new phone plan from telus, cause I'm unhappy with my current plan, that I haven't yet cancelled and am still using. I'd Rather a friend call, and ask "what's up?" and Then I can say "Get your fucking ass over here now, I bought 3 Ounces!" *Click* That's way better, and much faster than telling those telemarketers to fuck off 60 times before I hang up on them. If those telemarketers want somebody to use their service, they should just donate money to those website fags, and call them all the time. FUCK YOU BOTH!

Youtube Comments

2008-10-14T02:27:00.000-07:00

What the fuck? Seriously? I Can't Imagine how Some People manage to even WORK a fucking computer to say the things they Post. Now Usually When you surf Youtube, you AVOID the fucking comments, but sometimes you see one at the bottom of the screen, and it reads "fear and loathing was a shitty movie" Obviously offended by such a comment, people Reply with there Biased Responses "FEAR AND LOATHING WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER! YOUR A FUCKING MORON" and the Cycle Continues, between People's Own Preferences. (Note: Fear and Loathing is an Awesome Movie, Watch it Right Now)

But this one time. . . . On a Friday Night. . . . I Discovered quite Possibly the Stupidest Comment in Youtube History, It was so Stupid, I actually fell off my chair. I'll Tell you the Story:

Dan's Computer Disaster
By Dan

Chapter 1

Once upon a time, there was an awesome god named Dan, he did many successful things in his life, and was a billionaire. He had many awesome nights listening to Megadeth, and none of them were ever tainted or ruined; But this one night, this one dark and evil night, Dan was surfing Youtube and was listening to Megadeth when he noticed a comment that read "Metallica is Better than Megadeth!" Shocked at this discovery, he ventured further into the realms of the Internet forums. There was much debate about Dave, and Kirk, and how they were better than each other at solos. Eventually it was a large debate between Megadeth and Metallica that everybody was getting involved in, but they were all unprepared for the comment that awaits them.

Chapter 2

Soon people were comparing other guitarists to Dave and Kirk, and Eventually the thread was just about solos and guitarists, and there it was, at the bottom of the thread, the most recent comment: "Buckethead sucks, Slash is the Shit!" Appalled at this Comment, Dan replied: "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?" alas he was not, thus spawning an endless amount of angry Buckethead fans, whom also felt the need to post also.

THE END

I Know. . . . Kinda blows you off your chair.
and by the way, I know I fucking haven't posted in a long time. Things take time, Do you even Know, the AMOUNT of Pot I had to Smoke to even Deal with that Buckethead Comment, and Then Post it to tell the world about some idiot? ALOT! So fuck off, and let me smoke Pot. I Still haven't gotten over it.

Running

2008-06-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

Certainly this is the absolutely worst form of Transportation in existence. People may say that, No...Running is Healthy, Fun and a Good Activity. No its not, and the sooner you realize that the better. Running is Tiring, and Boring. If you want to look Fast go buy those sunglasses that make you look at least 10km faster than your normal pace. I'd Rather Walk and be late, than "run" to an appointment, that I'm probably not enthusiastic about going to anyways.

I'm not going to "run" for my Life, I'll die anyways why not enjoy a nice walk. If I can save myself, I'll Sprint. Sprinting is okay, because you only need to do it for a small period of time. Then BAM its over. Its the Easy road from now on.

This makes me so confused on how running became a sport. How the fuck did running become a sport? what kind of retarded freak came up with that. "Hey man, I've got an Idea for an awesome new sport!" "What, man?" "Well you see, we'll take this Oval, take some people and put them in evenly placed positions, and tell them to run continuously for about 10 minutes, and the first one to reach this line wins!" "Are you going to participate?" "Fuck no!"

Perfect, they basically ruined all concepts of life as we know it.

People who slow me down

2008-05-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah, these people. The one's who are always forgetting something or just being incredibly lame. If I want to go to {place} then I'm fucking going, no fucking retards are going to stop me. but, as always people need to be "nice" to their "friends" and not snap at everybody every five minutes, you know what? I can do whatever the fuck I want, If I want to bitch because someone is slow, its only improving our situation. Nothing wrong with that, I'm only training them in the case of a zombie attack; They should be thanking me. Seriously now, if there were an angry horde of zombies chasing us, my friends would be that much more motivated to get to my Destination. Also, now talking about zombies, I also "Dis-like" people who are against looting in a case of extreme emergency. Plane Crash, I'd loot everything the dead folk are not going to need it but I will, so its now mine. Zombie Disaster? Guns, baseball bats, cars, anything to keep me alive. People need to learn to put their self in front of everything. It works 100% of the time, {gets you all your stuff} PLUS: it also angers people, so cowards will stay away, Less mouths to feed. I only would help people who can help me, Its the way I roll.

There is also a difference between those losers {up} and just plain "unmotivated" people. Us "lazy" people are great, only because we just don't want to do whatever anyone else wants us to do, but we will help ourselves. Also, most important reason, we just smoked pot, or are in the process of doing so. This is something lots of people need to deal with, pot. Its not deadly, who ever told you is wrong, it gets rid of pain, helps you sleep, or stay awake. {depends on person} its a great herb, so I don't want NPS'ers {non-pot smokers} telling me that its incredibly dangerous, just shut the fuck up, before I murder you. Even worse, people who have never even TRIED it, and try to give a detailed response on how bad it is. I wish those people would just die, If your not going to try it, you can't say anything about it. Its like me saying that {movie} sucks when I have heard nothing about it. its just so stupid, fucking use your heads! I am, and its completely filled with THC. So you should be able to understand that simple task.

Also just on a side note: Not having a Mouse, and a Keyboard missing letters "qofhk" is a HUGE pain in the ass, try fucking typing without them. also, NO! Copy and Pasting is very time consuming, and Using the "Virtual" Keyboard for that, and as a mouse is nearly impossible. Thank god, that is finally over though. Now Ive got my trusty 10 pound IBM keyboard. This bitch isn't going to break anytime soon.

People are stupid

2008-05-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

I know, I mean Come on? Can they really be that stupid? Yes they can, and its been proven about one time, now. This is the REAL Study, the Facts the Government doesn't want you to know
, Area 51? Some Idiots think That its just Airbase for testing prototype Jets or More Commonly Known as [UFO's]. No thats what they want you to think, actually due to my extreme awesomeness I know everything about anything I want to know. Area 51 is actually an "interstellar projectile nuclear missile base" We Never meet aliens, Cause' there planets are Nuked before they find us. Now you know the Truth, I know it seems hard to change your beliefs, but you have to, because I'm right.

There's one thing that completely shocked me though, when I found out the true cause of the World Trade Center Conspiracy. Its Something the Government is trying to hide from you, they don't want you to find out. Hitler is back from the dead, He did it. I knew it all along, the moment I saw the towers come down, I said "Fucking Hitler again". Its the only logical answer, Terrorists, Those don't even exist, I've Never seen one have you? No! Cause they don't Exist, the government did it? What? I mean The Government Would put everything ahead of us and take our money, but why would they do that? Because they didn't thats why. There to Busy fighting the war on drugs, the most USEFUL War America has ever had.
"Why you might say? Because drugs is the leading cost of more drugs. Everybody knows drugs kill, and its true. Everybody knows that if you smoke pot one time you die, always. So keep at it America, Don't Let Drugs Screw you over."

The Message above that has been quoted is completely and entirely right, because I said it, but it only refers to Americans [your special]. If you live Outside of America, Drugs Cure Every illness almost instantly at any time.

Also in my Previous Post, I said I would have Videos. Well I don't, Everything failed, and left you with no videos to watch.

The Undisputed real Meaning of Life

2008-05-03T02:08:00.000-07:00

It took me a while to comprehend the force of the POWER! of this ultimate question. Its so simple, I am the Meaning of Life. Everything can co-exist with me, but if I vanished completely. The world would go into complete . . . . Just really fucked up. Seriously.

Anywayyyys with that out of the way, I thought I should get the least important thing out of the way first. so on to way more important matters: Apparently i'm funny. I knew it, people were just to scared to reply. Its okay' guys just cause your a fucking pussy, doesn't mean I'll kill you.

So yeah, I've got some videos now of me explaining everything really important to me.
Like Myself, and Pot.
And Things I'll hate forever, but it is still in my house amazingly.
Febreeze Fabric Softener

Yeah, thats right not something you'd expect to be lurking in the darkness. Just watching you, your every move.

Nintendo Wii

2008-04-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Everybody I know loves them, but They are all retarded homosexuals, so I can see the Connection. Seriously, Its Not Great, it has Terrible Graphics and Waving my Arms around so I can Stab myself in the eye with its Razor Sharp Wii-mote while playing Zelda sounds horrendous to me. But still, people don't get it. No DVD playback, even though its blu-ray now, There so behind. What the fuck? Ability to use Game cube controller for some game also. hoorays! I get to use there controller for the Next Shittiest console. But Wait! Theres a Catch, Only Super Smash Bro's Brawl Can Use that Feature. LAME!

And I can Give my Detailed Opinion on This Cause' I own a PS3 and X360. My Brother Owns a Wii. Even If I didn't Own any of these, I can Give my Opinion whenever I fucking want! so fuck off Nintendo. Your Console blows.

For the PS3, BEST! Hasn't Pissed me off so far. Blu-ray, Just so Perfect.
Now for the Xbox 360, Yeah, Sounds cool, but Really is it? I thought the xbox would be my gaming console forever, until I got the Red ring of Death, so yeah, fuck you Microsoft!
And Fuck you Sony, for being so god damn Expensive!

What People Need to make, and by People I mean me. Because the Rest of the Human Population is Just stupid. A "Nintendo Playstation 360" With Supreme Graphics, Blu-ray, Xbox-Live, and that lame Super smash Bro's Brawl Game so people will buy it.

You know whats really funny? People Who Wasted Money on HD DVD's Ahahaha! FAGS!
Should of Bought Blu-ray Disks Chumps! Just had to say that, cause your all jerks.

Ya know?

2008-04-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

[Warning! Lots of Spelling Errors, Because I'm am Ranting while high]

So yeah, I'm kinda out of my mind, right now. Its pretty awesome. I mean, seriously. Being High is the Greatest, and I Strongly encourage all stoner's to reply saying "fuck Yeah" although no one probably will because when I smoke pot, I have almost no motivation to do anything. I'm only Ranting right now because I was Already Sitting in this chair when I was Smoking a bowl, Yeahhh. Awesome. Actually stoner's are one of the only groups in civilization that are cool, not better than me, but almost 25% the way there. So your all 1/4th me. :D Congrats.

List of Things that don't suck:

Me [Cause' I'm The Best]
Pot
stoner's [They'd Better not be absolutely lame]
Me again [I'm just that awesome]
Bruce Willis

Yeah, Sweet. Also Chair's don't suck, I wouldn't have anything to sit on if they didn't exist. Although, I am Really Awesome, Reality might Change just for me.

Tetris Motherfucker!

2008-04-18T23:42:00.000-07:00

The Best game in existence! Yeah! Fucking Tetris. Awesome. I mean whats better than falling blocks with an aura of colours and then, suddenly disappear. Inspired by Communism, Seriously.

Well, Yeah. . .I want another L-block pipe. Ya know? it'd be really cool. I mean. . . . Seriously, I don't know if I'd be able to still live if anybody hated my Tetris L-block pipe. Until I DESTROYED THEM!!! What about Tetris Cereal? That'd be cool, Taste of Communism in every bite! Play Video games with your cereal, don't win? Eat everything. DONE!

People that don't comment on my blog

2008-04-18T16:24:00.000-07:00

Even though you visited my blog, it pisses me off that you didn't comment. Seriously, what the fuck? You'd have to be offended by my blog someway? No Feelings? Doesn't surprise me, your probably really lame. Then if that IS the problem, then Fuck Off! Leave my Presence, Now fool!

All I'm Saying, is fucking comment, be nice or mean. The only Difference is your a pussy if you don't like my rants. You know what I say to that? Fuck off! Seriously.

On another subject matter, visit the sites that are on my friends list. [bottom of site] You might feel somewhat depressed that I have friends and you don't, but that's life. I'm awesome and your not, live with it. You have to realize that people don't care two shits about you, but all of everybody worship me. But anyways, Duder Entertainment is awesome, plain and simple. Not Nearly as awesome as me, but Seriously, Will anybody ever be? If you still haven't clued in, your a dumb ass and the sites link is on the bottom of the page. For failing to Understand that before hand, please, just. . . . fuck off, for Society. Seriously.

"Just Fuck off!"

2008-04-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

Ever had that friend that you just wanna tell them to "fuck off"? I hate them! Their Always so fucking annoying, I want them to Die, but Their my friends. Wait a minute, Why the fuck am I friends with them? Maybe I'm not their friend at all and its just a perception of reality that your mind made up to help it seem real in an alternate universe, and that is not a run on sentence. In fact if you think it could possibly be a run-on then guess what? Fuck off! your one of those annoying pricks that I was Rambling about earlier. huh.

Nobody thinks that of me, cause' if they do they die. Even you anonymous Internet surfer, you lose. You might think your safe behind your screen there, but no. I know something really bad will happen to you sometime soon, just watch for it, never know whats gonna get you in particular to myself.

Another person I want to tell to fuck off, has to be Chuck Norris. He is a fucking loser, The Real Action star is: BRUCE WILLIS!! Total Pwnag3! He Dominates All living Things, When he Dies he saves the human race, and blows up with a nuke. Top That, Suck Norris. If you Disagree, Fuck off, Smoke Pot, Watch any Die Hard movie, and come back and read this again and Agree with me. Then if you could do the whole world a favour and die, please.

Studies Say I'm Awesome

2008-04-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Well its hard not to brag when your as incredible as me but. . . . well, Yeah, I'm Awesome. Don't believe me? Check my fucking profile, Click "Being Incredibly Awesome" under Interests, and BAM! I'm the Only Result, How's That for Millions of Blogs, They all Suck.

I Just had to put that out there, its pretty impressive.

Now for the Real Rant: ( http://www.mindspring.com/~rtbrain/suck.html )

When People List Things that Suck, When In fact Most of the Things that Suck that they listed are funny when it happens to other people.

Animals in cages- What Thats Hilarious! They can't get out, how can that suck?

Earthquakes- What? Earthquakes, so they Ground Shaking Violently Doesn't Amuse you?

Scientology- Ah-hahahaha! Hahaha! Ha!

Seafood + Worms + Trekkies + Wal-Mart- What the fuck are people thinking today? Is Everybody Retarded now? Fuck! First of all Seafood is Great I'm from Newfoundland, so go fuck yourself. Worms (the game) is the most insane game anyone can ever play at anytime anywhere. Trekkies? What? so You don't Like Star-trek Eh? How Can you Not like that Show? People Don't Understand it, Its funny. The Privates always die, No matter what, they get pwn3d. Wal-Mart is somewhat similar to my favorite store "Future shop" and There is nothing lame about that store. If you think it sucks, I'm afraid you probably were dropped as a child and were bullied in school. I hope you get hit by a bus.

Other People that Live while I do

2008-04-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

Well This wouldn't be so bad, but people fucking steal my name, No one else in the world has the Structure and Awesomeness of My Greatness. So Then I say What the Fuck is this.

www.danrant.blogspot.com <-- What!? Daniel is Ranting? I fucking Know that Already! But Why, I'm Pretty sure I didn't Go through a Terrible Haircut Experience on the Weekend, ohh Wait its not me, How could someone rant about another "dan" or Whatever we call them now. There just completely Unimportant people. RANT ABOUT ME! ARGHHHH! {Other Dan's Info}

Name: Daniel

Location: St. Louis, Missouri, United States

If there's One thing I hate more than Other Dan's; Is People from St. Louis, Missouri, United States. That also Have then Name dan and Rant about things. Which Is amazing because thats the problem I have to deal with now.

NOW FOR SOMETHING RIDICULOUS

And If there's anything worse than that, its fucking "your mom" Jokes.
When your mom is so fat she's Hospitalized for Morbid Obesity, that'll make a great joke, Trust me I'll be Laughing at you, not with you, but laughing at your Misfortune. Most Likely all Your Friends Will laugh at you too, and you'll Probably End up committing Suicide. Good, Cause Thats saving me from talking to one less prick on the internet.

And. . . as a Bonus for you, Don't Even Start Complaining about Depression, I've been Diagnosed with it, and I told it to fuck off. Worked 100%. If You can't Do what I did, then your a complete Failure, and you'll never succeed at anything. haha! You suck!

Smoke Pot!

2008-04-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah Thats Right, Smoke Pot. If you don't your a fucking Pussy-ass-bitch who has nothing better to do in life than to get A's on Projects about the Nucleaus in Science Class.

Notice Some Things about my Writings? There are Fucking Errors! Thats Beceause of your lack of judgement has failed you from the teachings of the Green Side. There is Much Power to be learned over here. [Oh Yeah Forgot, Complain about My typos then go suck a cock]

So yeah, Back onto topic here, Pot Is COMPLETELY Harmless, No Long Term Side Effects, Complete Understanding of Obivious Reasoning. and Instant Death upon Smoking. . . . .
. . . . . . Just Pullin your Leg, There are Long Term Side Effects, I just Can't Remember them.
Its Like Something Memory, and you know, Addiction and Such Nothing that a few More Joints can't Fix.

So Now That Your Smoking Pot Because of My Awesome Post, or you already smoked pot, than cool, we should blaze sometime. If Not, Then Why the Fuck are you still Not Smoking pot, what is wrong with you, are You like fucking. . . . lame or Something? Seriously Smoke Pot.

Seriously.

The Internet

2008-04-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

The Internet is seriously a kick ass thing, Its not to be fooled around with. Like You can do whatever the fuck you want, like play games, flame people, or just type meaningless words into a virtual square to share your views with people around the world, who also don't give a shit.
Perfect! Thats exactly what I need it for. If I wasn't typing here right now I wouldn't be on the Internet would I? Then What Horrific Things I might Come up with If I wasn't Dumbed down by the Internets: Solving Mathematical Equations? Oh God, I don't even want to think about it. Only Number I need to know is 420, with the Exception of 417-419. So I know when Its Comming, and 421 so I know If I missed it. Yeahhhh.

So What Else is the Internet Good for, Well Certainly Not Porn or Advertising for Shitty Coperations. I mean Seriously, What the fuck? I don't Wana Here about 20% Sales for Pants at Old Navy, Fuck off There Mine! I need these Money's for Pot, not Pants. Don't They See? But they never do.

Sites That Are Not Completely and Utterly Gay:
www.bcdan.blogspot.com (Wonderfull Site, Professionally Written and Mispelled Correctly)
www.newgrounds.com (The Only Site that can waste your time so succesfully)
www.ANYTHING ABOUT BRUCE WILLIS! (There are never enough of these sites)